R.I.P. Cort and Fatboy 2003-2012

Monday, September 17th, 2012

by admin on September 17, 2012

It’s a strange thing, to see the decline of your physical and mental being in total clarity while in the midst of a kickball game at age 34. A hilarious, depressing, strange thing indeed. Good thing Ryan Fleming, who is still young and pretty, is on hand to distract us from our plummet towards cookie-fueled corpulence with the iPhone 5, and the Wii U, and that kick ass Star Wars Anime thingamajig that blew up all over the internet this weekend; speaking of things blowing up all over the internet, Willard Romney got caught saying what he really thinks on camera, and surprise – it’s not all that nice. But he’s not even the biggest villain of today’s show. No, that honor goes to whoever rigged all those Challenger machines in your childhood that never let you get the stuffed Donkey Kong toy you really wanted.

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Marcus September 17, 2012 at 7:17 pm

That .gif of the jet is a clip from Battlefield 2. Sorry, Cort.


Cort September 18, 2012 at 6:46 am

No shit?! God damn, I’m impressed. I mean, sure it was a low res gif, but sure as shit looked like the real thing to me. Guess I have to start playing Battlefield 2.


Ron Effing Swanson September 19, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I spent entirely too much time looking for that gif.


vee September 18, 2012 at 5:43 am

Andrew Hill on Facebook made the best comment about your kickball game:

“We may not win but we won’t remember losing. Simpler Times.”


Geekoid September 18, 2012 at 7:13 am

Ahh, father time coupled with pizza and donuts, ain’t it a bitch?
All I can say is walking 2 miles twice a day got passed the Can’t do more the 20 minutes a month. Eventually (read 5 years) I was able to start jogging up to 5 k and did the warrior dash. Using the slow but steady approach to weight lost has gotten me 40+ pounds lighter.

One time, I got a large stuffed animal through that damn hole in a challenger machines. It took many tries, and to find out it was just luck? well fuck.


Germanys Own Zod Johnson September 18, 2012 at 8:11 am

Corts mention of scrubbing the death star reminded me of the epiosde where you guys read the Battlestar Galactica Janitor fanfiction, does anyone remember which episode that was?


Iain September 18, 2012 at 7:39 pm



Iain September 18, 2012 at 7:45 pm



September 20, 2012 at 8:44 am

The smacking of things to make it work again brought back a few memories but… one of the first times I knew that hitting a piece of electronics, only for it to not work as it did before, was a CD player. I bought my first CD player in 1986, and it still wasn’t part of the norm back then. The recording industry were trying to say goodbye to vinyl, the cassette was the king, but the idea of being able to play a full album, uninterrupted, both sides, without having to walk up to flip it over, and not hearing snap, crackle or pop, with no skips, was its appeal. The origin of lazy ass music fans.

I think once the public realized that a compact disc player was, for many, one of the first computers they ever used, it changed how we used things and how we continued to find convenience. No need for abuse.

What also made me think a bit was the reference to 2063. As a younger kid, it was cool to think “what would the 21st century be like?” or “imagine how it would be to do time travel.” Maybe it will happen but perhaps not in my lifetime. Yet when 2063 was referred to, I thought “I can’t imagine a 93 year old me.” With Cort and Fatboy making references to kickball leagues and how age has changed the impact of a ball and its long means of healing, it’s the reality of all of us aging and wanting to enjoy what we have while we can. Both of my grandparents didn’t live past 75 or so, so if I am to follow in their path, I roughly have 33 more years of living. Additives and preservatives in plastic and tin cans, along with my years of fast food abuse, may mean those years will be cut significantly but… I think when I was in my 20′s, it was just about living, but not wisely, or “living without thought”. It wasn’t about being in denial about wanting to be healthy or to live longer, I just didn’t think of it. Then it got to a point where reality hits, and we no longer think of the years behind us, but how much time we *may* have in front of us. 2063 used to seem like “imagine being able to be in cars that can fly”, now it’s just the hope of staying mentally fit by the weekend. Enjoy the now.


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